Saturday, December 16, 2006

How to Dance Like a White Guy

hehehe...I dunno what is it with me and dancing! i just cant take bad dancers....or...umm...nvm ;)

You. Yes, you...

There are some things which can just make you stop, take a deep breath and just look. Look at that person/thing which just took your breath away, maybe if not to that extent, but still leave you wondrous and in awe. It could be a moment, a rare sight, a moment when you felt truly loved, or a naughty thing you did with a person you are completely comfortable with.

I do mix very easily with people; people who enjoys being with people; people with whom one can have fun with. But, I don’t get close to very many people. Maybe it’s a self-preservation thing. It so can happen, that YOU might feel close me, but I won’t. Heh, I can’t explain that. So, because of this, I have had many friends, but very few close friends. In fact I can count them off my fingers (from Kindergarten). So, here are a few words of respect to the people who came into my life, influenced me (or are influencing me), truly cared about me (maybe still do) and I did the same for them.

I will go chronologically or will I not? Not sure. But, I will not write names, as I do not want this entry to hit search engines. If they will ever read this, they will know who they are, if not, then… :~) …these words will still be here.

As I was sitting in the room, I did hear this person swearing really strongly at someone on the other end of the room. Apparently they had a fight over lunch. In looks, that one could be described as the most common face, but the smile…she had a Monalisa smile. I was a loner, I rebellious child (still am, but subdued version…lol), an introvert, and used to sit on the last bench because of my height. It was my first day in class. I was in my pink frock, and feeling very conspicuous amongst the ‘green’ery around me. Next day I went to her and asked if I could share my lunch with her. Now, here I can not even begin to describe the importance of sharing lunch over the lunch-break. It defines a boundry, a circle of trust, a group with a set of rules which you must adhere to. Ofcourse, it was not known to me that time. Naïve, I would like to call myself. So, after hearing my request, the girl I used to sit beside in class, looked at me with hatred in her soon-to-be averted eyes. Of course the person at whom the question was directed understood, and accepted me gladly in her ‘group’ after expressing her surprise at the request. 6 girls we were; very unusual, of different backgrounds, different thoughts, and different temperaments. Anyways, that was the day and this is the day. We still share the same bond which we did those years ago. We have fought over silly anonymous calls to guys, we have discussed logic behind a stupid geography paper, we have failed tests together and got punishments together for talking too much, had an amazing crush on a Mr. Caprio.( my crushes moved on to rough looking guys since then, but she is still smitten with him ;~) ). I think I still have that scrapbook on every little piece of article about Titanic or Dicaprio. Its funny, how we could never stopped talking to each other, there was always something to talk about…something to conspire about, something to do, something to gossip about.

I was so lost without you in that new city I moved to. It was hard to cope up without you. I had not idea, who to trust or who to turn to for help in need. They were ready to pounce on me, ready to use me or crush me and move on. I was so used to you.

But, I did survive, though it took me a while. Your letters kept me going and I still have still treasured them. I can never tell you how much your friendship meant to me, how it has helped me through hard times. How good I feel when you still get mad at me for my wild and crazy love stories. How much your support means to me. How the fact, that you never judged me and always stood beside me matters to me. I can’t explain all that to you. But I can just tell you that you are one of the precious gems I will always treasure, and be sure that I will be there for you...until I can.

Wow! I did Go overboard with this one. :~) Well, there is more to come and I will edit it in near future. With exams and projects over, I have else nothing much to do….but now, I am sleepy

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Gay Rights

....Gay Rights....

coming up soon

I have to articulate and organize my thgts...but yeah..every human should be treated the same, be it race-color-religion and now, out choice. We are defined by our choices...thats one thing God gave how did religion got the right to interfere with it and treat gay-people any differently...

we'll see..

Friday, December 08, 2006


Sunday, December 03, 2006

~High on ATB~

Saturday, December 02, 2006

~High on ATB~

Thursday, October 19, 2006


It’s a regular day of a regular week. The only difference is in my attitude; my patience; my tension level; my workload; It’s feels like the time around me is moving so fast and I can see it running by. The moments floating by and I don’t even feel them. I am dancing on this hot plate for so long. Like a flame flickering under the shadow of that another one and another and another…

I see the Botticelli nude in front of me, on a shell, floating towards the shore; the Floyd’s nudes, relaxing; the Dali’s Toreador; and they make so much sense to me. I see the stony silence, I feel the unspoken words.

Somewhere careless whisper is being played, and the piano goes on the tune for clocks. It’s all inside of me. Or maybe not. Maybe its just my imagination. But I can feel the lyrics and music. I can sense the pain in his voice.

I can also see the words in black about the 14 year old victim in Iraq; victim of the ultimate crime; ripped off the innocence; torn apart; made to look at the slicing of her own sister and the death of her own parents by the US soldiers who are there to supposedly protect her from the people of her own country.


I can only imagine pain of that innocent child who is being punished for being born a girl; who is suffering so then she cannot enjoy the pleasure; because it’s a sin; Yes, her clitoris is being slashed/tortured and taken out while she is fully conscious.


I am scared for the pain she must have felt before being dismembered by her own boyfriend.

I am sick at the thought of someone being beheaded in the name of God.

I am tired of looking at the newspapers for the blasts that keep ripping my country apart; all in the name of religion. As though any religion would preach their people to kill innocent people; as though the messiah’s and prophets and preachers and saints walked this earth to tell their followers to hurt those around them. People fighting over a piece of land… the crown of India. Now one of the most dangerous place to be in. Forgotten beauty.

If it’s not the Oil wells, then why the trouble of working towards the democracy of that place. Its its not the intention of war then why the nuclear tests against all regulations. If its not for the child porn, then why the arrest.

If it’s not for me then why are you?

Here I am lying in bed, with a night lamp behind my back, just silence, and aqualung singing ‘strange and beautiful’ wondering about my own life’s vanity.

And all these thoughts just flooded in my mind. It was hard to breathe.

It has been an unusual day for me. I cant over the stupid act of yesterday driven by the building frustration and anger; at no one but at myself. The fights I am involved in with the closest people in my life. The love I have for people who care for none. The anger for people who are just being themselves. The blank look my roommate gives me everytime I look at her. The People who just cant get over the fact that I live my life for myself and not for them; who can’t understand that I am just working to live it; that I am just unable to spend time over phone talking for long hours; people who demand attention all the freaking time. The professor who would ask me millions of questions before signing my time-sheet. The brooding trip next weekend. The expectations people have for me; not everyone just who love me. The friend who judges me by the clothes I wear and shades I wear. The guy who just want to dance with me on the dance floor because the pheromones are high. The girls who look at me up and down. The one think I cant stop thinking about. The only one who is the cause of all the pain and anguish.

But see, no matter how insignificant my problems are they are mine, and mine only. I want to do something, anything for those who need me. I want to give out so much, because I know I can. I just need time, and patience and the release from the khich-khich of marriage and finding a life-partner. I’d rather multiply without the superficial bonds. Like the nature does, not the rules and norms of the society.

I just need time. And I will make a change.

Monday, October 09, 2006

smallville music video - superman

Ah....I think I feel in love...yet again....this time with his smile...

*day dreams*